Review: GAMERA THE BRAVE (2006)

We're closing in on the big day for Godzilla.  In preparation, my son and I created a list of several dozen Japanese-style monster movies to watch before May 16.  (Check out the list HERE.)

Today's movie is Gamera The Brave (2006).



I'll go first.

After the fantastic Heisei films, it would be a safe guess to think they'd carry on in that same vein for any new Gamera films.  Right? 

They didn't.  Sure, it'd be easy to connect the two films ... At the end of Gamera 3, the titular turtle was being swarmed by Gyaos.  At the beginning of this film, Gamera is also being swarmed by (far fewer) Gyaos. ...  But that's not what the filmmakers did.  It's easy to feel a little let down that they didn't continue that story, but it would have been an uphill climb for anyone to follow that trilogy. 

As it stands, Gamera the Brave sets out on its own and it works for the most part.
An older Gamera self-destructs to kill several Gyaos.  Decades later, a lonely boy finds an egg that hatches a special turtle. 

Now, if you've seen all of the films, you probably had "Tibby" flashbacks like I did.  Thankfully, we don't go that route.  The turtle and the occasional turtle special effects are cute, but it grows quickly.  And it retains its cuteness. 

Not so cute?  The evil monster of the flick, Zedus.  He's got Barugon's stabby tongue.  Other than that, he's goofy looking.  I'm not a fan of this particular kaiju. 

 

Although he does eat people ... which is pretty metal. 

This film does something new with the formula.  This time around it's "Children are friends to Gamera" instead of the reverse.  It is the children who save the monster and the day.  Of course, you'll remember that the insinuation of children into a film's events is one of many things that sucked hard about the original Gamera series.  Here, though, there seems to be some mystical bond between the kids and the turtle.  It works, for whatever reason. 

What else works?  The special and visual effects.  Holy crap.  It's a damn shame that this is the last "suit-based" monster film on the list because they've got it down to a science.  The compositing between real life and miniature sets and guys in suits is very often flawless.  The buildings are impossible to differentiate between model and legit.  Minus some dodgy CG flying Gamera, these are truly some of the best effects we're ever seen.  It's just a shame it's wasted on Zedus and Kid Gamera. 

(Also, I think it would have been far better if Gamera's first fireball came after he swallowed the red stone and not as a throwaway Guiron joke when the baby turtle blasted a kitchen knife.) 

Gamera the Brave ... yes, it's a kid's movie, but it's a nice one.  3.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

My son's turn:

Well, this one is the last Dinosa- I mean, the last Gamera movie. I liked it because Gamera is awesome in this one, i don't like it because Gamera looks like a baby. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 3.7 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Up next, The Host.  (Yikes.  Cinematic whiplash.)

(GIF from doomsdaypicnic)

Review: GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS (1999)

Forging ahead through our big list of movies ...

Today's is Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris (aka Gamera 3: The Awakening of Irys; 1999).



My son, James, will go first:

Well, this one is a scary one, starring Slender Kaiju (Iris) and Good & Evil Gamera. The part that creeped me out was when Iris started to grow and Iris needed to "eat" something.  Iris, in my book, needs an award for Creepest Movie Villain. But, this movie was awesome too. Like when Gamera fired a fireball, You got to see all the people flying from the flame! 

So, rating wise, i'l say 3.8 out of 5 Atomic Screams of Fearfulness!!! D: 

My turn:

"Gamera is a friend to children." 

We heard that so much in the Shōwa series that it became a joke.  An excuse for kids to be inserted however preposterously into the film's goings on. 

In the Heisei era, that thought still exists, but in a different way.  Kids are involved in the plot, but there is more meaning to it than ever before.  In the Shōwa movies, the kids were there to, presumably, give the target audience characters with whom to connect.  In this trilogy, the few kids we see are integral to the plots.  Asagi was once connected to Gamera and now Ayana is instrumental in Gamera's near destruction. 

If there could be a second subtitle to this movie, I would suggest "Collateral Damage." 

Rarely in kaiju films does the camera focus on the "little people."  We're typically fixated on a scientist/reporter/military leader and their immediate family.  We see monsters stomp about all the time.  Buildings tumble and fall.  Fireballs engulf whole city blocks.  We don't see the impact, though. 

We do in this film. 

 

Between stomping feet, collapsing debris and explosive fireballs, we actually see dozens of people being killed.   

 

The battle in Tokyo is insane.  Yes, Gamera is killing Gyaos, but the collateral damage is massive.  Thousands and thousands die.  It looks like the kind of thing that probably happens all of the time, but we've never seen it before at the street level. 

The scene comes in the middle of a devastating sandwich of nightmares/flashbacks.  When we're introduced to Ayana, she's having a dream of her last memory with her parents.  That just happens to be during the course of the first movie in the trilogy with Gamera's inadvertent destruction of an apartment building.  She is a walking and talking personification of collateral damage.  And thanks to Ayana's tainted memory, Gamera takes on an evil (almost GMK) visage: 

 

I could go on and on about this movie.  The suits are outstanding.  The model work is amazing (the Kyoto station alone is staggering).  The look of Iris is both alien and lovely; and properly devastating when it needs to be: 

 

Is there anything that doesn't work? 

Some of the CGI gets dodgy, particularly at Gamera's first appearance.  That's nitpicky, though.   

The biggest offenders are the two weirdo government advisers who fancy the idea that Iris and Gyaos are supposed to wipe the Earth clean of both humans and Gamera.  The guy, in particular, is worthy of an eyeroll or three.  Their presence is unnecessary.  They distract from the true evil of the movie.  Excepting Iris, that evil is found inside a young girl. 

As another downside, I'm tempted to mention that Gamera doesn't appear in the movie for much of the first part of the running time.  I think this was a brilliant move, though, on the part of the filmmakers.  By keeping Gamera at a remove for so long, it somewhat alienates the viewer from the character.  It helps our sympathy for Ayana and what she's been through. 

Then, at the end, Gamera shows up in Kyoto and all hell breaks loose. 

 

A magnificent model gets smashed, Gamera gets impaled and then partially crucified.  And then, in a supreme moment of badassery, our favorite turtle blasts off his own trapped hand, lets Iris cauterize his wound with the enemy's own fire, and then Gamera thrusts his plasma-laden limb through his opponent. 

 

Iris is destroyed and Ayana is able to see Gamera for the hero he is, because he pulled her limp body from Iris before she could be absorbed.  The moment when she broke down is devastating and genuinely choked me up. 

Some complain about the ending as we see thousands of Gyaos descending toward Japan.  Gamera stands in the ruins of Kyoto, screaming.  Waiting.  And then credits.  Look, I would have liked to see that battle, too.  But it would have been anticlimatic after the emotional payoff of Iris' destruction.  And, like the end of Angel, it shows that the battle never ends.  Like Mayumi said, the last of the species will never give up. 

Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris ... perhaps the greatest kaiju film ever made and within the greatest series of kaiju films.  4.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's the trailer:



Next, Reptilian.

(GIFs from tokumonster)

Review: GAMERA 2: ADVENT OF LEGION (1996)

It seems like an age ago, but my 11-year-old son and I decided to watch an ever-growing list of Japanese-style monster movies before the new Godzilla film opens in May.

Today's movie is Gamera 2: Advent of Legion (aka Gamera 2: Attack of Legion; 1996).



My son goes first:

Well, this one is when a alien race of mutant bug-creatures that rely on air pressure and eat glass and plant eggs that explode and they can combine into a giant of them. I liked the fight at the end and the scene where they swarmed the subway. (Subway, eat Gamera.) 

 So,rating wise, i'll say 3.6 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness

My turn:

I'll get my main complaint out of the way first: Gamera doesn't show up until half-an-hour into the film.  Monster-wise, we only get the small Legion creatures ... and that's it. 

But that's not entirely bad.  We get to spend time with Midori, a science teacher, her friend, Obitsu, and a JSDF colonel.  In contrast to many monster movies -- especially the older Gamera films -- these people feel like real people.  They're not caricatures.   

Other complaints?  The use of computer-generated effects.  Check that.  Some of the effects.  These were the early days and they were certainly ambitious ... unfortunately, they haven't held up too well.  I'll point to the scene wherein Gamera gets swarmed by the small Legion as a prime example.   

 

There are, however, other scenes with CGI where it still looks fine.  They're ambitious and I appreciate that. 

Also, the music.  It's serviceable.  It fits the mood ... but there's nothing memorable about it.  As I type this, it's only two hours after we finished the film but I couldn't hum a lick of the score.  It's a shame that, beyond the "turtle meat" Gamera march of old, there isn't a recognizable theme that is exclusively Gamera's. 

Good stuff.  Legion itself.  Huge, interesting and scary.  The smaller Legion escape some of the traps that the tiny Destoroyah fell into.  While Destoroyah were sometimes just action figures on screen, Legion doesn't feel like that.  Plus, they weren't ripping off Alien.  They often felt genuinely scary.  I guess popping a subway conductor's head will do that.  The science behind Legion felt legit, too.  Silicon-based life; flowering; the oxygen.  It could all be BS, but it passed my sniff test. 

The action is very good.  There's one shot, in particular, of Gamera's approach to the Sendai airport ... it's just well done.  And then the big Legion and Gamera fight until Sendai is virtually annihilated.  Legion then continues to kick unholy amounts of butt in its approach to Tokyo: 

 

The structure of Legion's approach is handled well.  We're told the time of each encounter and the geography feels clear.  Better than even that, we see a lot of the action from the street level.  Looking up through stoplights toward Gamera and Legion makes it feel that much more accessible and real.   

In the end, Legion unleashes some sort of energy whips (a la that first Angel in Evangelion, right?): 

 

And then Gamera unleashes a heretofore unknown power: a massive energy blast from the chest. 

 

There's also a great shot of Gamera walking down the street, the force of his footfalls causing items on the sidewalk to jump and glass in phonebooths to shatter.  I'm not sure why, but I loved that. 

I should mention that the teen girl, Asagi, is back.  She's still wearing her magatama amulet, though her direct connection to Gamera was supposedly severed at the end of the last film  Here, she's still pulling for the turtle and the magatama shatters in her hand when Gamera reawakens in Sendai.   

I know a lot of people are down on Gamera 2, especially after the first movie of this era, but I felt it carries on the series more than adequately. 

Gamera 2: Advent of Legion ... a very solid entry.  4 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's the trailer:



Up next, Rebirth of Mothra 2.

(GIFs from Tokumonster)

Review: GAMERA: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE (1995)

Our trek down the big list (HERE) continues.

Today's is the first in the Heisei Gamera trilogy, Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995).

I'll go first:

Finally we've come to it.  The series of films that validate Gamera, in my mind.  When you look at what came before, you will see naught but silliness and camp.  As you might expect, that's all forgotten here.  Thankfully.  

Instead of being a prehistoric beast awakened by a nuclear blast, Gamera is now a twelve-millennia-old, artificially created creature made to fight off other artificially made creatures.  The Gyaos.  They were made to eat up the pollution created by that ancient civilization. 

That's all backstory.  We get a few Gyaos near the beginning who attack humans.  Then Gamera shows up ... as an island.  Then he's on land and fighting the smaller-than-expected bat-monsters.  In fact, they're wonky-eyed hand puppets for the first half of the movie: 

 

It's good stuff and even the humans are pretty good (with one exception). 

We get a taste of the good ol' Gamera formula when he's wounded in battle and goes off to recover for a while.  But here's how they've made it work and made it mean something, too.  When the Gamera "atoll" was found, they also found dozens of magatama (comma-shaped amulets).  One of them was given to a scientist's daughter and she formed a psychic link with the turtle.   

(Side note: I would love to buy a magatama like the one in the movie.  Why can't I?) 

She gives Gamera strength and when he's wounded, she's wounded, too.  (With exceptions.  See below.) 

Eventually, the Gyaos merge and become bigger, nesting in the ruins of Tokyo Tower.  Luckily, Gamera awakens before the eggs hatch and blasts them.  The battle is rather great: 

 

The tone of the movie is serious without being dire.  There are some moments of fun and the action is always good.  This might be the first film wherein computer-generated effects are so frequently inserted into the action scenes.  And it works.  Gamera's suit?  Looks great and gets even better as the trilogy progresses. 

There are a few shots that are downright beautiful.  The ones that most immediately come to mind are the ones near the end in which Gamera and Gyaos grapple high above the Earth: 

 

What are the exceptions I mentioned above? 

First, the exception to the well-done human characters?  The main government official, Saito.  I enjoyed hearing about the government's hand wringing over using the JSDF against a threat (after all, post-WWII, their military is supposed to be self defense only; thus the "SD" in "JSDF").  I even understand the initial desire to capture the Gyaos.  But Saito seems dead-set to kill Gamera as soon as he shows up.  Even after Gyaos escapes and kills more people, he still wants to capture them and kill Gamera, even though the turtle is obviously trying to help humans.  It's not until near the end of the film that Saito turns around on the situation and this stretches credulity. 

The other exception is related to the teen girl and the magatama connection to Gamera.  Specifically, she gets cut when Gamera gets cut.  Happens a few times.  So how come she doesn't get a concussion (or worse) whenever Gamera falls from an incredible height, as he often does?  Right after Gamera falls to Earth with a great plume of debris, she's just standing there, clutching the amulet. 

Nitpicks. 

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe ... I believe in Gamera.  4.25 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's my 11-year-old son, James:

Well, this one is Gamera vs Gyaos all-over again, but with three Gyaos' . But, this one is the second one on the list with the claw jewel of power. (Like in Orochi.)   

So, rating wise, 3.4 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Here's the trailer:



Up next, Zarkorr! The Invader.

(GIFs by Tokumonster.)

Review: GAMERA: SUPER MONSTER (1980)

Back to the monster movies from our big list (HERE).  We still have thirty-plus to go before Godzilla opens in May.

Today's movie is Gamera: Super Monster (aka Space Monster Gamera; 1980).

My son will go first:

Well, this was a bad movie with horrible effects, but, it's about power rangers and a collage of Gamera movies.  If you're a fan you've seen all the movies before so even the fights were boring. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 0.6 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

My turn:

I read up on the film's production before writing this.  The studio, Daiei, was in serious financial straits and their buyer cranked out this movie in hopes of recouping on their investment.  No dice.  Super Monster was a flop. 

Deservedly so. 

Look, I have an affection for Shōwa era Gamera, but that stems primarily from the films' inclusion on Mystery Science Theater 3000, on which the movies were lambasted with zeal.  Some of them are fun, but more often than not, the Gamera films have been goofy at their best and annoying at their worst. 

Recounting the old Gamera movies is apropos here since more than a third of the movie is recycled footage from the other films.  An alien invader throws monster after monster at Earth only to have Gamera destroy them.  That's what we're told, anyway, as we watch the turtle fight the same kaiju all over again in supposedly new battles. 

That's an upside, I guess.  If you want a taste of the Gamera movies and don't want to watch them all, you can just watch this one.  It's a clip show.  And it gives you a taste of what the series was like even outside of the monsters. 

There's an often-annoying kid with a predilection for turtles.  There's goofiness.  There's a poorly conceived and executed alien threat. 

Something new, though.  Aliens who aren't evil.  The "Spacewomen."  They do their little Ultraman/Power Ranger/Wonder Woman schtick and then they transform ... into their space clothes.  It's not great but it's not bad, either.  (Not the transformation; the concept.) 

Regarding the new stuff, what's bad?:

• The special effects.  Remember how local commercials used to look in the '80s on your cable channels?  That's how everything looks here.  Scan lines, fuzziness, that indefinable "video tape" quality.  Sure, the previous Gamera films were nothing to write home about, but this ... this is just crap.
• The music.  Oddly, the Spacewomen use it all the time and our kid "hero" plays the organ all the damn time, too.  His momma wants to hit him for it.  I wish she would.  And he writes a new "Gamera march" that takes over for the beloved Gamera theme of films past.  But I love turtle meat ...
• Star Wars.  Look at that poster.  The alien ship is a straight-up copy of the Star Destroyer.
• Gamera.  Yes, there is some new Gamera footage in the movie, but just a couple of minutes worth.  It all has that horrible videotape sheen to it, but the puppet or suit they use is even worse.

Gamera: Super Monster ... at least the fantastic Heisei series is still to come.  1.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's the trailer:



Up next, Return of Godzilla (aka Godzilla 1985; Gojira).

Review: GAMERA VS. ZIGRA (1971)

You know the drill: I made a big list of movies (seen HERE) for my son and me to watch before the new Godzilla film and we're reviewing them.

Today's is Gamera vs. Zigra (1971).

My son will go first:

Well, this is about a lizard crossed with a fish mixed with a shark crossed with a hawk mixed with a alien ship, and mixed with a xylophone, (a.k.a. Zigra) V.S. Gamera, there's a kid advertising Coke, and Gamera graduates from music class.  The people in this movie are so stupid, I said maybe Zigra should rule them. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 2.001 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

My turn:

After the modest improvement we got in Gamera vs. Jiger, it's back to crappy form for the series.  

The year is 1985, though everything seems like it's still 1971.  Small, shrill children rule the world and inform leaders, scientists and generals how to fight the aliens.  They argue over whose mother is prettiest and whine for a Coke (even though, in the Japanese version, she just asks for juice).  There's hide-and-seek with an alien lackey around Kamogawa Seaworld after a brief struggle in which stuffed animals were the primary weapons. 

It's a kids' movie.  No question.  As I've said before, though, other kids' movies have been able to appeal to adults, too.  This one does not. 

There's so much extraneous stuff, too.  Not just the kids.  For example, the dolphin trainer ... there are entire scenes with him that are utterly pointless, such as his haggling over fish with a hotel manager. 

The alien, Zigra, looks like a bladed shark and possesses hypnotic powers.  He incapacitates Gamera for a stretch, as happens in every movie of his.  Their fight is brief, though Zigra manages to slice up the shell a bit for a game of tic-tac-toe.  Spongebob rules of thermodynamics apply as Gamera shoots his fire breath underwater.  In the end, it is that same fire breath that incinerates Zigra.  Gee, if only Gamera had done that earlier in the film.  It'd be much shorter. 

Gamera vs. Zigra ... it's no wonder the franchise took a nine-year break.  1 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's a compilation of funny bits from the film's appearance on MST3K:



Here's the trailer:



Up next, Godzilla vs. Gigan.

Review: GAMERA VS. JIGER (1970)

A few months ago, I decided that my son and I should watch as many kaiju movies as we could before the new Godzilla film opens in May, 2014.  The list (HERE) I compiled contains nearly eighty films.  Today's movie is just about the halfway done mark.

It's Gamera vs. Jiger (aka Gamera vs. Monster X; 1970).

My son, James, will go first:

Well, this one is almost indescribable. it shoots horns, it comes from a line of rainbow gods, he's Jiger!!! There was worm surgery GROSS! Needle horns STAB! and Gamera goes hardcore and stabs the whistle statue in jiger's face. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 2.5 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

My turn:

I'll say it up front: this is easily the best of the Gamera series since the first one.  The second (Gamera vs. Barugon) was pretty good, but it got too bogged down on the people side of things. 

What has killed this franchise for me since film three is the bewildering reliance on children as central characters and as heroes to the plot.  The last film, Gamera vs. Guiron, is the worst offender thus far. 

Jiger does the same thing, but the children in question are older than in previous films.  By having the protagonists be young teens, it somehow makes their self-insinuation in these events more acceptable.  It's a small change, but a welcome one.  (They're not shrill, either.  Bonus.) 

Here's the basic plot: in preparation for the 1970 World's Fair in Osaka, workers have uncovered an ancient statue from a Pacific island and brought it to Japan.  Natives call it "Devil's Whistle" and by removing it, the crews have unwittingly unleashed an ancient monster named Jiger.  (The "Whistle" emitted a frequency that kept the beast dormant.) 

Jiger looks like a sort of bear-dog-thing ...  It's a quadruped with a small fin on its back.  It has multiple horns, most of which can be fired like quills powerfully enough to pierce Gamera's limbs.  In its tail, there's an ovipositor which it uses to stab Gamera's shoulder and leave baby Jigers.  It also has a glowing wart or something on its nose that can vaporize a wide area.  Oh, I almost forgot the rockets embedded in its jowls. 

Sounds f-ing ridiculous, huh?  It pretty much is.  For some reason, though, it works for me.  There's a break in the standard Gamera plot formula when the kids go into Gamera's body (a la Fantastic Voyage) to remove the Jiger babies ... it was new enough for me to like it. 

Battle-wise, everything's cool.  Jiger's barbs wreck Gamera's day for a stretch, but in the end, the turtle takes the Devil's Whistle and stabs Jiger through the head with it.  Hardcore, indeed. 

Gamera vs. Jiger ... better than most of the series.  3 out of five atomic breath blasts.

(This is one of the few Gamera films not riffed on by MST3K back in the day, so there's no video of that to share.)

Here's the trailer:



Up next, Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster.

Review: GAMERA VS. GUIRON (1969)

I (James) am controlling this time!!!

Gamera vs. Guiron (1969)

Me:

well, it's stupid. one kid was talking about traffic accidents too much and when they are flying out of the solar system, the kid says "Well, this ship is out of the ordinary." No kidding.  The knifehead kaiju shoots ninja stars and laughs when he cuts up space gyaos.  The alien women want to eat brains and Gamera welds a ship back together with his fire breath. just plain stupid 

So, rating wise, i'll say 1.995 out of 5!!!!

Now, my dad:

It's hard to separate the movie from its treatment at the hands of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ... 

In the end, it doesn't matter much.  Like James said, so much of this film is just plain stupid.  Annoying kids out the wazoo, goofy aliens, tedious dialogue, Cornjob/Corndog, ridiculous confusion between stars and planets, a monster that's among the dumbest looking in film history ... 

I guess Guiron dicing up Gyaos was pretty cool in a goofy gory way.  That's about it. 

I know it's aimed at kids, but I kids aren't dumb.  (Well, most of them aren't).  I don't see how they could like it. 

Gamera vs. Guiron ... if Guiron's the sharpest thing in your film, you're not doing well.  1 out of five atomic breath blasts.

No "best of" video that I could find.  Here's the entire episode as seen on MST3K:



Here's the trailer:



Up next, Space Amoeba.

Review: GAMERA VS. VIRAS (1968)

Ah, Gamera.  He's really neat.  He's filled with turtle meat.  We all love you, Gamera.

But not this movie.  Gamera vs. Viras (1968), next on our big list of movies (HERE).

My son James goes first:

Well, I thought this one was plain stupid, with the power squids, and the boy scout submarines thing, all stupid!!! They even "wasted" 18 minutes of flashback, like, why?!! Even the kids are stronger and smarter than Gamera and the Aliens!!!! 

so, rating wise, i'll say 1.67 (Yes, it's that stupid....)

My turn:

I'm pretty much with my kid on this one.   

Very standard '60s monster movie stuff and aimed directly at the children.  I tried for a time to watch the movie with that mindset ... I just couldn't do it.  My son, as you can tell from his review, couldn't get into it that way, either. 

The children in this film are smarter than anyone in the world, apparently.  They reprogrammed an experimental submarine and then were allowed by scientists to pilot it on a joy ride.  The whole scene is ridiculous. 

Then the flashbacks.  The aliens probe Gamera's memory and we get to watch about twelve or thirteen minutes of fights from the previous films.  (This movie was never used by MST3K, but this would have been prime stuff to snip out for time constraints.) 

The aliens take the two boys and they outsmart them on their own ship, but not before they attach a control device on Gamera.  Then the intruders dispatch the giant turtle to attack Earth.  This is how we're treated to a further five or so minutes of footage from previous films ... attacks on cities from the first film (even though the footage is black-and-white), an attack on a dam from the second film ...  It's tedious. 

The height of stupidity comes near the end when the world decides to surrender because the aliens captured the boys and threaten them.  Sacrificing billions for two ... ? 

Then the squids merge like Voltron or something and become a giant squid alien.  The fight is brief and not terribly satisfying, as the thing gets carried into high altitude, freezes and then gets dropped in the ocean.   

What's good?  Well, the film breaks with the formula of having Gamera fight the monster, getting injured, waiting and then fighting again at the end.  Unfortunately, it gets around this with old footage.  Also, we get the jaunty Gamera theme for the first time.  That's nice.

Gamera vs. Viras ... I'm beginning to hate kids.  1 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's the trailer:



Up next ... ugh.  More kids.  Godzilla's Revenge.

Review: GAMERA VS. GYAOS (1967)

My son and I are about a third of the way through the big list (HERE) of kaiju movies to watch before the new Godzilla film next year.

Today's movie is Gamera vs. Gyaos (1967).

I'll go first:

The Gamera franchise continues by introducing its most enduring foe: the vampiric, Rodan-esque Gyaos.   

This movie continues the Gamera formula.  Monster appears, brief encounter with Gamera, Gamera gets wounded and goes off to recover before coming back to end it.  Sprinkle liberally with annoying kids, and viola.  (Yes, Gamera vs. Barugon had this formula, too, but no kids.)
Also, we have construction workers and farmers being involved at every stage of the military's operation to fight Gyaos.  Kids making crucial suggestions.  Goofy characters. 

Gyaos has the potential to get dark, what with the monster's taste for human blood.  But it never goes there.  Instead, we get Itchy the kid and some unfunny construction workers ... I was going to call them the Two Stooges, but that would be insulting to my beloved Stooges (yes, even Joe Besser). 

Like the first Gamera film, the ending is rather batshit insane (ha, "bat").  Let's have a giant fountain of artificial blood on a platform that can rotate a monster that weighs hundreds of tons until it's dizzy.   

Keeping track of monster blood ... Gamera's is still mint green.  Barugon was purple.  Gyaos is bright pink.  It spurts quite liberally for a kids flick. 

There are some fun moments, like when Gyaos' beam splits the helicopter in half and one guy jumps out, inexplicably.  That reminds me ... Gyaos' internal arrangement is like a giant tuning fork?  And his sonic blast comes out as a visible beam?  Okee-dokee.  Oh, and I can't neglect to mention Gyaos' armpit smoke.  I'm not kidding. 

Gamera vs. Gyaos ... not that bad; not that good.  2.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

My son's turn:

Well, it didn't make sense with cars and hellies  splitting in half and they made gamera, through out the whole series , gets hurt, heals for 1/3 of the movie, fights the enemy, and wins. It's too predictable. 

Gyaos gets gross a few times with his yellow arm pit spray and his foot that grows again when it got torn off. (and then a rock hit it and it was supposed to be funny.  It wasn't.) 

so, rating wise, i'll say 2.008 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!

I couldn't find a good "best of" compilation of jokes from its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000, so here's the whole thing:



Here's the trailer:



Next up: Gappa. James: WWWWHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!!!!...LOL!

Review: GAMERA VS. BARUGON (1966)

The next one from our big list of movies to watch is Gamera vs. Barugon (1966), second in the turtle franchise.

As I've had to do before, I'll try to forget the ribbing it took from MST3K (though I'll post a "best of" video at the end).

James goes first:

Well I thought this would be boring, but it's not.  Gamera attacks the dam for his hot tub, get grape jelly from Barugon, The God of Rainbows, and then gets ice from Barugon's coolness (literally), And now, his chores are done, and his treat is going swimming with Barugon, and going to his funeral too! 

So movie rating wise, i'll say 3.006 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!

My turn:

Behold Barugon: the only monster born because some guy had athlete's foot. 

And what's with the name, Daiei?  Obviously, you were trying to capitalize on the previous year's movie monster, Bar*A*gon.  I mean, look at the poster from Frankenstein Conquers the World:

Same.  What the Zigra? 

To the movie itself ... it's pretty damn dark for this stretch of Gamera films.  No cutesy (annoying) kids ... no humor whatsoever.   

Other than being dark, the human side of things drags on far too long.  You get a recap of Gamera at the beginning, followed by a quick attack on a dam by the turtle.  Then it's 35 minutes of guys looking for an opal and one bad guy scheming to get it.  Then, thanks to the aforementioned dude's athlete's foot infrared treatment lamp, the opal hatches Barugon. 

His initial attack looks great.  There's a grittiness, almost, to the way it's shot.  It's dark and well done.   And then he unleashes his weapons. 

When the Gamera people want to get goofy, brother, they get goofy.  There's his super extend-o-tongue which somehow also emits a freezing vapor cloud.  But that's not sufficiently silly.  No.  "Let's have him shoot a giant energy rainbow from his back."  So they did. 

There's something kinda funny about this dark movie having a monster that shoots rainbows in it. 

This movie also starts the traditional structure of how the monster fights go. 1) Antagonist monster appears and attacks, 2) Gamera confronts and is wounded/incapacitated, 3) antagonist continues attack after humans wring their hands, 4) Gamera recovers and defeats foe.  We also get the first spouting of kaiju blood, too.  Gamera will bleed gallons of mint green paint in films to come, but Barugon oozes first here.  Purple, of course. 

Then there's some plans about using shiny things to attract Barugon and using helicopters to make it rain (but not with singles) ... It gets even more dull than the first stretch of the film with that murderous fungal-footed thief.  The only highlight, really, is when that thief is snatched up by the monster's surprisingly dexterous tongue.  Then they build Archimedes Death Ray to give him blistery, purple-bloodied wounds.  Gamera wakes up, natch, and drowns him.  Ta-da. 

Gamera vs. Baragon ... "God of Rainbows," indeed.  3 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's the trailer:



Here are some of best moments from its appearance on MST3K:



Up next, the first film in the Daimajin trilogy.  We've never seen it before, so we're excited.

Review: GAMERA (1965)

Here we go.  Our trek down the big list of kaiju/tokusatsu films has brought us to that other franchise, Gamera.  The first film is up now, Gamera (1965).

James goes first:

Well,I thought it was great movie! 

Gamera is about when a team of people go to Alaska and planes start bombing the place and they find a cave with Gamera in it.  And a kid thinks Gamera is his friend so throughout the movie, the kid literally tries to kill himself just to get to Gamera!  It's so stupid, it's funny!  

So, I will give Gamera 5.0 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!

My turn:

Ah, Gamera.  The very notion of the flying turtle makes me smile, if only because of its association with Mystery Science Theater 3000 (see below).  For the purposes of this review, I'll try to divorce the movie in my mind from the treatment of it at the hands of Joel and the 'bots. 

Daiei's attempt to jump on the monster bandwagon in the 1960s, Gamera starts off well enough.  It's in black-and-white, which gives it gravitas, unintentionally; not unlike 1954's Gojira.  And given the opening scenes, it's easy to think maybe this movie will have a message, too. 

Well, not so much. 

This monster is a prehistoric creature and not one created by mankind's hubris/errors.  It was awakened, however, by one of those mistakes.  A Soviet (we think) bomber was shot down by Americans in the Arctic.  Somehow, the plane's atomic payload became armed and detonated on impact with the ice.  Thus awakening and freeing Gamera. 

Here we come to one of the flaws of the film: the actors.  This is on full display in the scenes with the American radar installation and General Curly Joe De Rita.  (Sorry, I said I was going to leave MST3K behind.)  He's a horrible actor.  As are the others around him.  The script is partially to blame, too.  For whatever reason, one line in particular, spoken by a subordinate, cracks me up: "Looks like a huge turtle made its appearance." 

The Japanese actors aren't much better.  It's hard to be sure, since I can't speak the language and all.  But the reporter guy, in particular, seems bad.  Just a hunch.  And the scientist with the finger weave ... That's a distracting hairstyle. 

The effects are good enough for the era ... Gamera looks about as good as he ever will for these Shōwa films.  The attack on Tokyo looks good and Tokyo Tower goes down again (the second time in these movies).  I enjoy the late '60s films with the partying teens who reap death from their hullabaloo.   

Plotwise, there are a few failings.  First off, the obviously mentally disturbed Kenny (or Kenichi).  He's a focal point of the film and he just clearly needs help.  Seriously.  Take him to a doctor.  Once you get over your sympathy for him, he's just an annoying brat who manages to nearly die at every turn. 

Secondly, there's little attempt ... beyond Gamera's awakening ... to make this movie mean anything.  Gojira, of course, started that franchise off with menace that we could only blame ourselves for.  Not so here.  Gamera's a prehistoric monster who likes to eat fire.  Maybe just fire from petroleum products, but that's unclear.   

Third, the finale.  Holy crap.  Everything seems pretty grounded ...  well, I know.  A giant monster is attacking cities and I'm saying the movie seemed grounded in a reality for a while.  It's true, though.  But the solution goes beyond ridiculous.  Out of nowhere, we find out that Japan (with international help) has constructed a huge underground space program and launch facility along with a massive rocket.  What is the rocket for?  To encapsulate Gamera and launch him to Mars. 

Think about that.  Gamera is about 90 meters tall.  Using the blue whale (30 meters long) as a guide, Gamera would weigh about 600 tons.  Yes, I know Gamera's wider and all, so let's take it up to 700 tons and leave it there for the sake of argument.  NASA's cancelled Ares rocket program, which was designed to take payloads to Mars, could carry 28 tons.  That means Gamera would need 25 Ares rockets. 

I know that by calculating this I'm truly overthinking it, and therefore I've stepped into the realm of ridiculousness, too.  But c'mon.  I can only suspend disbelief so much.  

Gamera ... until Z Plan (or Plan Z), it was good.  3.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here's a great compilation of MST3K moments:



Here's the trailer:



Up next, Ebirah, Monster of the Deep.