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Friday, February 7, 2014

Review: THE MYSTERIANS (1957)

The Mysterians (1957) is the next movie and it features the Toho Triple Threat: Ishiro Honda (director), Eiji Tsubaraya (special effects) and Akira Ifukube (music).

My thoughts first:
This movie inspired Rudy Martinez to name his band ? and the Mysterians. That’s really all you need to take away from it. 
I’m kidding. 
The movie looks great (Tohoscope), sounds fantastic and has superb effects. It just suffers from a weak story. 
Aliens named Mysterians come to Earth and ask for a little piece of real estate to settle down and maybe, just maybe, hook up with some fine human ladies. 
I take that back. They’re not coy about it. They want our women. 
With a yawn-worthy plot, that leaves characters. Do we care about them? Well, three of the leads are played by actors we’ve already seen multiple times before on this list. One’s a jerk … there’s a scientist … we never really see the aliens except for their colorful helmets so there’s no face to attach to any sense of horror or dread. 
The only scenes worthy of note are the ending battle (full of great models slugging it out) and an early sequence featuring a kaiju robot. Named Moguera, the giant robot is a demonstration of the Mysterians’ power. It’s pretty impressive for a few minutes until it tries to walk across a bridge. The military detonates the bridge and Moguera falls. And that’s it. 
Of course, you may recognize Moguera thanks to its inclusion as an Earth military vehicle named M.O.G.U.E.R.A. in Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla. This Moguera was inserted at the last minute by a producer who felt the movie needed a kaiju scene. There’s a second, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance for Moguera in the end battle. It rises from the pit, ready to kick butt … and then a satellite dish bonks it on the head. Oh well. 
The Mysterians. Looks nice; a few cool scenes. That’s about it. 2.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.
OK. Now here’s my son, James:
It was a cheesy movie, but the only two good parts like when they were asking for their women :) (the Mysterian boys must be ugly or something) You are right happy face!! So, they were asking for women :( (but i want to keep my wife!!) SHUT UP UNHAPPY FACE!!!  
Anyways … and another funny part was when Moguera wanted to come back … WHOMP!! MORGUERA GOT HIT BACK DOWN BY A SATELLITE DISH!! BWHAHAHAAA!! Comedy GOLD!! O_O(awkward.) SSHHUTT UUPPPPPPPPPPPP!! 
Anyways.. I give it a 3.7 atomic breaths of awesomeness!! O_o :( :) <:( >:) >:( ( EVERY FACE IN THE WORLD… GET HIM!!) (YAAAHHHHH)
And here’s the trailer:

Up next, Varan.

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