Review: KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1962)

Back to the big list for the Kaiju Movie Challenge ...

Finally, another Godzilla film.  The third one in the franchise is King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962).

My son goes first:

I thought it was pretty funny,with the puppets and King Kong shoving a tree down Godzilla's mouth, then Godzilla spits it out w/ a little fire-power to make a torpedo. 

And in the movie, they had this type of cranberry sauce that made Kong sleepy, and it's like a medicine thing. Whenever Kong got struck by lightning he would turn into the Emperor and shock Godzilla. 

The fight scenes were funny, like when Kong tried to jump on Godzilla, he missed and his face went into a boulder, and when Godzilla kept on whipping Kong in the face with his tail, and the tree too.The first time we saw this movie, we had to keep on pausing because we were laughing too hard. 

The movie was great and i will give it 4.4 atomic breaths of awesomeness!! 

Now me:

I'm really of two minds when it comes to this movie.  So ... I feel the need to write two different reviews.   

The goofballing of kaiju films continues in earnest with King Kong vs. Godzilla.  Yes, there's the comic relief of a berry juice manufacturer hoping to snag a monster for PR purposes.  But of particular consternation is the excessive use of puppets, especially for Kong.  And Kong's suit ... oof.  It's just rough to look at.   

Before we even see the monsters, there's the native island.  Ah, Asians in blackface.  Oh, and giving cigarettes to kids.  And then the octopus attack.  Sometimes encased in Saran Wrap, sometimes not.  And the blue screen effect gets particularly bad when they're throwing torches and such at the octopus because you can see the objects' shadows on the screen. 

Unfortunately for us in the United States, we have only the English dubbed version to see.  The dubbing issues aside, there is a wealth of ultimately pointless scenes featuring a UN news anchor interviewing people from around the world as they talk about Godzilla and Kong interspersed with footage of the orbiting station from The Mysterians.  Waste of time.  And the music ... stock music used from several films, including the famed Creature from the Black Lagoon.  Except for the natives' songs, not a lick of the great Akira Ifukube's music is heard. 

Until the original version is made available over here, I'm forced to give King Kong vs. Godzilla 2.5 out of five atomic breath blasts. 

OK.  Now review number two: 

James and I watched the first two Godzilla films in a single weekend.  Gojira was dark and deep and surprised me; James was intrigued but, due to his age, not quite grasping it.  Raids Again was OK.  Then came Kong. 

This is the film that cemented our love of these movies for us.  Yes, Kong was far taller than he was in the RKO original.  Yes, his suit looked like it was sewn together from old fur coats (it was).  Yes, there were silly scenes that showed finger puppets as the monsters fighting.  Yes, the music was recognizably recycled.  Yes, many of the ancillary characters were either annoying or played by the same few actors yet again. 

It didn't matter. 

It was fun.  There was action and it was just fun.  We laughed hard at the big Mt. Fuji scene ... showed my wife the bit with the tree in the mouth ... watched it with my mother/James' grandmother when she came to visit ... It was just silly, infectious fun. 

Good times.  Good times. 

King Kong vs. Godzilla ... 4.5 out of five atomic breath blasts. 

Told you I was conflicted.

Before anyone asks, no.  There is no such thing as the alternate ending where Godzilla won and Kong lost.  That's a myth nearly as old as the film itself.

Here's the English trailer:



Up next, tokusatsu end-of-world epic Gorath.

Review: REPTILICUS (1961)

Reptilicus (1961).

I'll go first:

A Danish-American co-production, this movie is pretty standard for standalone monster movies of that era.  Someone accidentally finds monster, scientists get involved, monster goes nuts, military kills monster.  The end. 

In this case, drillers find a prehistoric animal tail deep underground and scientists take it to an aquarium to study it.   

Shortly thereafter, an inexplicably angry general is assigned to guard the aquarium and lead the detail.  His anger is briefly tempered thanks to a seven-minute-long tour of Copenhagen and song from some Danish woman. 

Also, the scientists hired a moron in overalls to be a night watchman.  Even after the general takes over the aquarium duties, the guy is still there.   

It ends up being a great piece of misdirection because we're sure that this dope is going to somehow free the monster, right?  No.  He doesn't. 

In the Danish version, he does have this musical number, though: 

The monster with the oddly vague name is a marionette.  It's reminiscent of Manda, but with wings.  And tiny, tiny, useless arms.  The presentation of the puppet varies wildly.  I would guess that it was filmed one way, but the footage was slowed down or somehow altered for many shots.  This makes some of the monster scenes feel really strange and cheap.  In other places, the marionette looks pretty cool.  I particularly like it when it's drooling all over the place. 

 

Not spitting.  No.  The spitting stuff was added later, obviously, and looks horrible.
In fact, other than about a third of the Reptilicus stuff, all of the special effects look bad. 

The characters are terribly forgettable, except for the angry general and moron watchman.  And the movie drags and drags for a long while before anything happens.  The titular beast doesn't show up until forty-one minutes in.  Ugh. 

Reptilicus ... it could've been cooler than it is.  2 out of five atomic breath blasts.

My son's turn:

Well, this one had Cheesy for lunch, Cheesy monster power effects, cheesy actors with cheesy jokes, so, cheesy everything!!! 

So, rating wise, i'll say 1.779 out of 5,000 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Here's the trailer:

Review: KONGA (1961)

Konga (1961).  When I read the description, I thought, Sure, this belongs on the list. Having seen it … I’m not certain.

I’ll write my piece first:

Konga's premise is simple enough and promising enough, too. 

A British botanist crashes in Africa and lives there for a year, learning all their herbal secrets. He comes back to London with a few choice plants, some crazy ideas and a chimp named Konga. 

He plants the plants in his greenhouse and they quickly grow into large animated foam rubber Venus Fly Traps, tongue wagging Pitcher Plants and more. With his crazy ideas, he crafts a serum and begins injecting Konga, causing him to grow in a series of wavy dissolves. 

Soon, though, Konga becomes a gorilla. Apparently, causing a chimp to grow will make it change species. I had no idea. 

The scientist then forces Konga to go around killing his various enemies, before his fiancée catches wind of his wandering eye and gives Konga all the juice … 

Michael Gough (the actor who played Alfred in the four Burton-Schumacher Batman films) plays the crazed scientist to the hilt. He can’t save this film, though. 

It lurches from one scene of the enraged scientist to another, almost every one punctuated with a Konga kill. That sounds intriguing, sure, but it’s dull. Just when you’re waiting for something to happen, Konga gets a full syringe and starts growing like mad. 

We’re treated to some shoddy effects, for certain. At one point, Konga is tossing around dolls that we’re supposed to think are people. Poorly done bluescreen (and rear projection) … It’s just a mess. (See the trailer below for a taste.) 

Here’s the biggest sin, though. Konga walks the streets of London and then stops at Big Ben. And that’s it. He does nothing. He’s 200 feet tall and he smashes nothing. Not a damned thing. 

This is a monster movie. A guy is in a gorilla suit, walking around a room of model buildings and not a single one gets destroyed. 

Well, except the house from which he escapes and then the greenhouse where he grabs the scientist. But that’s it. He’s in London, standing next to Big Ben and he just kinda glances around. 

In the end, the army shoots him and he dies, inexplicably reverting nigh immediately to his cute chimp form. But, you know. Dead. 

On the plus side, the Konga suit looks better than Toho’s King Kong suit. That’s about it. 

Konga … If he doesn’t smash anything, does it belong on this list? 0.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here’s my son, James:

Since Konga didn’t annihilate Big Ben, I don’t care!!! I don’t think this counts as a kaiju movie.

Here’s the trailer:



Up next, Reptilicus.

Review: GORGO (1961)

As many of you know, my son and I are watching 70+ kaiju/tokusatsu films in preparation for the new Godzilla film, due in May. We’ve made our way down the big list to the Brits’ attempt at a kaiju film, Gorgo (1961).

I’ll give my thoughts first:

We’re coming into a period of films where the mood begins to lighten. The kaiju, as we’ll see, are being made into the heroes of the movies and there’s a greater sense of fun. Since Gorgo isn’t a part of the Toho family, it’s unaware of this tonal shift and maintains a dreary and grim tone. 

TL;DR: Gorgo isn’t much fun. 

The attack on London is extended and fairly brutal. We see hundreds of people die in falling rubble, a flooded underground tube, and so on. One of the lead characters, feeling guilty over what’s happened, loses himself in alcohol. If you want to see Gorgo in a fun light, watch the ninth season episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that features it (see below). 

Grim isn’t a bad mood for a monster movie to have (see 1954’s Gojira) but it helps if there’s a point for it. In Gojira, there was a message about nuclear testing, proliferation, war, etc. In Gorgo, … um. Don’t put animals on display? The standard “hubris of man” thing? Leave nature alone? It’s hard to say. 

When Dr. Heywood Floyd isn’t drowning his troubles, there’s a lengthy bit near the middle when stock footage assaults the mother Gorgo. Oddly, most of the footage depicts American planes and ships despite the efforts supposedly being British. 

All that being said, the effects in Gorgo are among the best of this era. The myriad scenes of debris falling on people, bodies being flung from London Bridge, the destruction of Big Ben and Picadilly Circus … It all looks good. Unfortunately, the monster itself and the suit isn’t so hot. And the performer inside … there are a few times it seems as though he’s posing or moving in an odd way so that he can see his way out of the eyeholes. 

Gorgo … much of the death and destruction could have been avoided if they just let the stupid kid monster go. 3.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

And here’s James:

I thought it was good,and it reminded me of JAWS 3, with the baby at the beginning, and the parent picking up the kid at the end. 

But everyone was killing themselves trying to run away, people falling down stairs, people throwing people out of windows, everything was just chaos! 

And it all so reminded me of The Valley Of Gwangi because they, you know what, just watch the movie yourself!! So, i’ll give it 4.2 atomic breaths of awesomeness!!!

The trailer:



A selection of moments from the MST3K episode:



Up next, Konga.

Review: MOTHRA (1961)

We’re still watching movies from the big list in our Kaiju Movie Challenge.

Number seven is up: Mothra (1961).

My ten-year-old son, James, gives his thoughts now:

Well… i used to not like the song the little girls sang, and 1/3 of the movie they were dolls. 

And i couldn’t believe they were trying to save the girls even though they said that Mothra will destroy everything!! 

And now, the stages of strong! larva=2/3 moth=3/3. they both tied in travel. but in fighting skills, larva=1/3 moth =3/3, AND THE WINNER IS…..the larva…just kidding, it’s THE MOTH STAGE!!! 

and for movie ratings 2.7 atomic breaths of awesomeness!!!!

Now mine:

This is the first time we’ve watched these movies in true chronological order. Typically, we’d go through all the Godzilla films and then the Gamera and other kaiju movies. Seeing them in order, I can see the significance of Mothra. 

It’s a harbinger of the crap to come. 

I’m kidding.

First off, this film’s plot is reused a couple of times more in Toho’s catalogue. Natives on an island, bad guys want to capitalize on the natives/island/monster, monster attacks. 

Next up, kids. Yes, the kid in this movie is (comparatively) innocuous, but there’s more of them to come. Oh, brother. 

Lastly, the hero kaiju. The giant monster that does some destruction but ends up saving humanity one way or another. 

The first point is just because of an unimaginative screenwriter. The next two, though, are bad. By increasing the franchise’s visibility among children and making the titular kaiju into good guys, the beasts and the movies both are often defanged. That’s my memory of what comes later. We’ll see if it’s substantiated.  Regardless, I won't hold what's to come against this movie.

Beyond that, Mothra suffers a couple of other demerits. One is Frankie Sakai. Just a goofball. Difficult to endure. The second is the dubbing. If you’re watching the English version, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Nearly every single Asian actor in this movie is given a voice simply dripping with soy sauce and rice. The stereotyping is so bad, they even ‘R’ up some of the ‘L’s. Painful. 

All of that being said … it’s a good film. The story is decent, despite the odd Islamic America-Russia nation invented for the plot. Mothra looks good (both in larvae and moth mode). Tokyo Tower gets destroyed for the first time since this was the first kaiju film made after its completion. 

One funny note. If this had been featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 back in the day, I found the perfect ‘stinger’ (the funny clip from the film played at the end of most episodes). In a Rolisican diner near the end, a middle-aged woman tugs on the arm of her father, saying, “Come on, Dad.” The old man gets up with some effort and grunts hilariously. ”Unnngggghh!”

(Side bar: when they shoot weapons in this movie, the muzzle flash is red … what did they use to do that? I’ve seen it in a bunch of Japanese films.) 

Mothra … a solid film despite what will follow. 3.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Here’s the trailer for the English version:



Up next, the British try to get in on the fun: Gorgo.

Review: BATTLE IN OUTER SPACE (1959)

Continuing our way through the big list of kaiju and tokusatsu films …

Today’s film is Battle in Outer Space (1959), a kaiju-less tokusatsu film brought to us by the Toho Triple Threat (Honda, Tsuburaya & Ifukube).

My bit first:

If you like watching models shooting things, blowing in the wind and exploding, then brother, this is the film for you. 

The story is wafer thin and involves aliens named the Natal scheming to take over the planet. The first half of the movie is padded out with some pseudo-United Nations intrigue and mind-controlled folks doing wacky things. And some lengthy talk about and testing of their atomic heat ray weapon. 

Alien-wise, there’s not much to report. The Natal saucers seem to be re-paints of ones used in The Mysterians, or at least differently lighted versions. Most damning, we never even really see the Natal. There’s one scene on the Moon wherein an astronaut is attacked by a mob of them, but they’re just short folks wearing oversized helmets (see the trailer below). Apparently, they were going to be tentacled aliens and then later insectoids, but the budget got the best of those plans. 

The only thing worthy of note regarding them is their anti-gravity weapon. In the final third of the film, when things pick up, the anti-gravity weapon picks up a lot of things. The miniature destruction is impressive and a fun sight to behold. There’s also spaceships firing weapons at each other, but the action on Earth is far better. 

The production design is superb, too, though I prefer the polished metal and neon tube stylings of the Mysterians to that of the Natal. 

Good work by Tsuburaya and Honda … not enough to really hold my interest, though. 2 out of five atomic breath blasts.

And now here’s my ten-year-old son, James:

It was ok, I guess. 

I didn’t like it because there were like 8 or 15 Mysterians (they all were yellow) and that was it!!! 

But, the aliens had good weapons like the tornado shooter or the structure sucker and a teleporter, and finally, the mind controller  

So, I will give it 3.4 atomic breaths of awesomeness!!

Here’s the trailer for Battle in Outer Space:



Next up, Mothra.

Review: VARAN (1958)

In case you’re just joining us, my son and I have been watching and reviewing a lengthy list of kaiju films before the new Godzilla film comes out next year. We’re only a few in.

Today’s movie is Varan the Unbelievable (1958). Toho Triple Threat in effect: directed by Ishiro Honda, special effects by Eiji Tsubaraya and music by Akira Ifukube.

There is an American version that features American actors and a new plotline. Only the kaiju scenes are untouched. Plus, Ifukube’s score has been replaced by Albert “Make It Louder” Glasser. Needless to say, we avoided this version.

James’ thoughts up first:

Well, the music in the middle (one ocean scene) sounded like JAWS music but with more than two notes. It FREAKED me out!!!! 

And Varan is … a….flying squirrel and he sounds like a jet. He saw a stupid kid wanting his dog back. At the end a truck bomb exploded in his balls (i felt so bad for the guy in the suit)! Varan also like to eat flares rigged w/ bombs and that made him run away. 

So now, i’m going to give it 3.9 Atomic breaths of awesomeness!!

Now here’s mine:

Having become a kaiju film fan over the last few years, I’ve seen people online rag on this movie, saying Varan didn’t deserve his own movie. Well, at that time, Toho was trying new things and introducing new characters and new monsters. They had no way of knowing what would or wouldn’t stick. Tangentially related, I’ve discovered that, originally, this was supposed to be an American television movie, but Toho’s partners over here departed the project. With so much work already done, they made it a film. 

All that being said, I really like this movie. The black-and-white is a bit disappointing after the Tohoscope quality of the last two films. And the monster himself, while visually interesting, doesn’t really have that je ne sais quoi that a good kaiju should. He can fly around like a draco lizard, but at Mach 1.5 … and that’s about it. His roar is essentially half of Godzilla’s roar. The “skree-” part of “skreeonk.” No flaming breath or laser beams from his crystal-looking spikes. Nothing. Shame. 

The story is basic enough: rural villagers are afraid of a lake and the god they believe lives there. Monster gets roused and tears stuff up. Seems almost pedestrian, but I’ll say it again: I really like this movie. 

Here’s why. The music and the effects. Effects-wise, this is Tsuburaya doing what he does best. There are great models to play with and loads of fun destroying. The airport set is great; the ships at sea; the flares; the rampage through the forest … loads of fun. 

If for no other reason, you should watch this for the music. You’ll likely recognize quite a bit of it because Ifukube used several of the themes he made here in later Godzilla films. You’ll recognize a prototype version of King Ghidorah’s theme easily. It’s just really good hearing his music played well and to hear the history of what we’ll love to hear later on. 

The Varan suit was, unfortunately, damaged, thus limiting his appearance in future films. He appeared again in Destroy All Monsters, but only as a background cameo. 

Varan … I liked it. 4 out of five atomic breath blasts.

And here’s the trailer for the Japanese version:



For comparison’s sake, here’s the American version:



Next up: Battle in Outer Space.